I think I’m dreaming when I open my eyes after spending a restful night. No, I’m not making things up, I’m here in Antarctica. I try to convince myself that I am completely adapted to my environment. The first step is to feel in tune with the cold. It’s only -13°C, but at the start of every adventure, I’m pretty chilly. I don’t always have the courage to get out of my sleeping bag quickly. I don’t hesitate to put on all my layers of clothing the minute my alarm goes off. This way, I don’t let doubt settle in and, no matter how cold it is, I have no choice but to get up. Usually it works pretty well.
My schedule is quite simple, I will take 2.5 hours to heat the water required for the day on my stove, eat lunch, drink coffee, fold up my tent and put on my skis. The more rigorous I am with my schedule, the more I manage not to waste time. A few minutes late each morning can cause me to lose hours and tens of kilometers on the total distance. The outside light has not changed, the wind is still calm.
These are excellent conditions for a departure. I call the base camp communications team: “Hey. Hi. This is Caro. I will be leaving in the next few minutes, I will send you my contact details by message so you should receive them soon. » In this way, a message was recorded at Antarctic Logistic Expeditions for my official departure. It’s 8:32 a.m. and I’m starting the challenge. Terrified at the idea of trying the first ski and failing, I focus my energy by drawing inspiration from the words of Laurie Anderson, an American experimental artist and musician:
With each step, you fall slightly forward.
And then you catch yourself when you fall.
Again and again you fall.
And then you catch yourself when you fall.
And that’s how you can walk and fall.
At the same time.
Laurie Anderson, Walking
I understand that everything should happen naturally and fit into the order of things. Maybe I’m making life too complicated and putting too much pressure on myself for no reason. The idea of falling or making mistakes should become natural to me. Why be afraid of it? I think we all fear being truly alone in the universe and I realize that. My ski slides forward. That’s it ! I’m in full swing and nothing can stop me. I suddenly feel filled with a confidence of iron and ice.
