“In your columns, you often suggest that the employee approach their boss directly. It is not without danger. Isn’t it up to the boss to take the pulse of his employees? – Mario

I agree with you. A good leader should not hesitate to solicit feedback from his team. But this requires a context of high psychological trust or safety on both the boss’s and the employee’s side. It’s not that common. So two problems may arise.

On the one hand, few bosses will dare to ask for it, because agreeing to be questioned by their staff can clash with the vision they have of their role and, above all, it places them in a vulnerable position. They don’t control the message. On the other hand, employees are just as hesitant to communicate upward what they really think, because it may also clash with their own view of their role (it’s not my job to manage my boss) and, as as you say, it is not without risk of rejection or reprisals for them.

So we often end up with one-way feedback, from the boss to the employee. This is already a good thing and, in any case, it is part of his responsibility. Knowing what he thinks of our work performance meets a real need. But today, this is still insufficient.

Employers seek to build a culture where employees can speak freely about what they think, feel and offer to improve their work experience. Given the crucial importance that the boss plays in the employee experience, this dimension must be prioritized. This is usually done through an employee opinion survey. This practice is useful and allows the generation of quantitative and qualitative data, while protecting anonymity. However, a survey cannot replace a lever for improvement and connection as rich and powerful as an open, honest and two-way conversation between an employee and their boss.

Employees have their own point of view, and managers have every interest in hearing and discussing it. Depriving oneself of this source of feedback considerably increases the risk for a leader of being disconnected from the reality on the ground, in addition to constraining his ability to improve.

It also seems to me in the interest of employees to be part of the solution by taking the initiative to provoke conversations, to pass information back to their boss and to propose ideas and solutions in a spirit of constructive collaboration. .

Sometimes, after discussing your performance, your boss turns to you and asks, “Do you have any feedback to give me? » Now may not be the ideal time because you are not prepared. Instead of making unhelpful generalizations, say, “Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you. By the way, what would you like to get feedback on? » Also, your boss could argue that his door is always open. So why not take him at his word and offer, “Can we take a few minutes this week? »

The content of the feedback is decisive. It must allow the person receiving it to target behavior that requires their attention and also to know what corrective action to take. So, if possible, give him information that concerns him, but to which he does not have access (his blind spots), such as his impact on the team. Be specific and factual by providing examples, and speak for yourself (the “I”), without involving your team members by name.

Instead of going back to the past, passing judgment or blame, draw their attention to an issue that concerns them with a question focused on the future and continuous improvement. For example, “The project is behind schedule, how can we better support the team?” “.

You have a sincere desire to help your boss. Your feedback approach is intended to be constructive. Remain professional and respectful in your approach.

You know your boss. If he is not open to receiving critical feedback or the subject proves too sensitive, do not take the risk of rushing your approach. Wait for the right moment, such as the opportunity to share your feedback anonymously in a survey. In the meantime, continue your efforts to build a bond of trust with your boss.

Tell him that you found food for thought there and that you would like to have coffee with him to hear his opinion. Who knows, maybe this will be the start of a richer and more beneficial relationship between you two.