Besides taxes and death, there are beautiful certainties in life: Alain Côté’s goal will never be good, Keith Richards will live longer than all of us, and what’s more, when life is not so easy, we can always turn to the Cleveland Browns for a little laugh and to cheer ourselves up.
Except that there, we no longer laugh.
In fact, we haven’t laughed since last Sunday. In front of their own, the Browns surprised the previously undefeated San Francisco 49ers. This is a powerful statement reminiscent of the time Celine Dion belted out an AC/DC tune to prove that she was capable of breaking out when the situation called for it.
Like Céline, the Browns are no longer taking prisoners. It would be ill-advised to draw any big conclusions in October, but let’s do it the same way: These Browns no longer look like the Browns of old, the ones who always lost, except perhaps for a few bright spots in the 1980s, when Bernie Kosar sowed terror with both his arm and his perm.
Following Sunday’s big triumph, the Browns find themselves with an astonishing 3-2 record. This is despite several injuries (Jack Conklin, Nick Chubb and Joel Bitonio, among others), despite the turnovers that they commit too often, and despite these three different quarterbacks that they have dispatched behind the center since the start of the season, including Deshaun Watson, injured in his shoulder, who could return to the game this week.
This has caused Browns players to call their defense “the best in the world,” a claim that is quite bold and may not hold water. But in the meantime, the Browns look like the kind of tiring club that could continue to surprise.
This is good for the people of Cleveland, who have never had an easy life, primarily because they live in Cleveland.
Let’s face it, the jokes write themselves in the case of Aaron Rodgers.
The enigmatic New York Jets quarterback was spotted throwing footballs before last Sunday’s game in paradise that is East Rutherford, and it was enough to reignite the fire of hope in his most ardent supporters, who hope for his return as others hope for a new Pagliaro album.
This delusion reached Jets coach Robert Saleh, who spoke of Rodgers’ presence on the field as a “superpower.” In any case, the Jets ended up causing the other big surprise of the day, by beating the Eagles.
We recall here that Rodgers had previously mentioned the idea that the frequency emitted by copulating dolphins could prove beneficial to the human body. This is the same man who once appeared at a conference on “psychedelic science.”
The Jets have been entertaining us like this since 1969, and that’s all we ask of them.
The Indianapolis Colts have learned some very bad news: quarterback Anthony Richardson, the fourth pick in the last draft, is lost for the year due to a right shoulder injury.
This is certainly not what they were looking for. Now the Colts will try to win with another quarterback, Gardner Minshew, who was otherwise excellent in the movie Dodgeball.
Good luck with that.
It’s the seventh week of activity in the NFL, and once again, the coming Sunday will be a good reason to spend the day watching quality football while searching for pieces of nachos in the cracks of the couch.
Among other pleasures, the Bills will be in Foxboro to remind Bill Belichick that he can’t win without Tom Brady, the Lions will be in Baltimore to face the Ravens who haven’t said their last word, and then finally, in evening, the Miami Dolphins will be in Philadelphia, where they will receive insults, glasses of beer and perhaps also AA batteries to the head, if the Eagles fans display their good-day form.