Bondage, discipline, domination, submission and sado-masochism. These are the practices that are hidden behind the acronym “BDSM”, a naughty universe that encompasses many sexual experiences. In the summer of 2022, Dèmonia published a survey* revealing the BDSM fantasies of French women and men. A study that lifts the veil on these practices “far from the clichés conveyed by books or films such as 50 shades of Grey”, assures Daniel Salem, director of the brand.
Contrary to popular belief, BDSM is free from gender stereotypes, attracts both couples and singles, and concerns all generations. In addition, the practice would remain occasional: enough to get rid of the prejudice that it would only belong to a handful of people. In our slideshow below, discover the eight favorite BDSM practices of French women and men according to the survey.
Dr. Sébastien Garnero, clinical psychologist and sexologist, enlightened us on these sexual practices long considered wrongly as “deviant”. “BDSM remains a minority practice in its basic form. On the other hand, it has become democratized in the form of ‘soft’ BDSM by people to awaken their desire”, explains the specialist.
Thus, BDSM sometimes resides in very simple practices: playing a role, delaying the orgasm of one’s partner, tying his hands… “These are people who will play with more sensual, more erotic relationships, who will exploring the possible palettes of sexuality. BDSM is not about looking for pain, it’s about stimulation and eroticization that allows you to get excited,” continues Sébastien Garnero.
Dr. Garnero insists on a point that is both elementary and essential: consent. “Even in sado-masochistic practices, you have to be able to ensure the consent of your partner, to be able to set clear limits in relation to what you want to do, and where you want to stop”, insists the sexologist.
Then there are essential safety tips: knowing how to tie the correct knot to avoid choking, asphyxiation or any other injury, thoroughly cleaning the sex toys and toys used, learning about the risks of allergies or burns, reading user manuals…
“There is the idea of ​​navigating between excitement, the semblance of pain, surprise with the contrast of pleasure”, notes Sébastien Garnero, before concluding: “There is sometimes a strong tension to free oneself from all taboos, but sometimes it must remain a fantasy: it must be systematically consented to and everyone wants to live or explore BDSM”.
*Online survey of a sample of 658 people aged 18 to 65.