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ADVICE. I want to have children because I want them to be. How do I use this?

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“I, as a woman of 37, I’m a year and my boyfriend is 39. I have always had a strong desire to have children, been with my partner. He wants to be, but most of all for me.” Relatiedeskundige Rika Ponnet will give you advice.

“I, as a woman of 37, I’m a year and my boyfriend is 39. I have always had a strong desire to have children, been with my partner. He wants to be, but most of all for me. Because he feels that it is important to me. I’ve had it very hard, that this desire, like me, is inherent, independent of me. I’m seeing this more and more as a stumbling block. How can I handle this better?”

A desire to have children, it is not clear-cut, given that everyone is on the same way of life. In addition, volatility of such a desire, even in a period of time, depending on where we are in life. I have noticed in practice is that the child, if the desire is on the average stronger in women than in men. More and more women want to be a mother and that was that. The men will see the question more as something that arises out of a relationship, a desire that arises from that relationship and is, therefore, not on its own. I’m guessing that you have a desire, which, in itself, is more powerful than the desire which arises from a given situation. It doesn’t have to be. I have, however, more likely is that many women, and sometimes men, too, though older, are still up for it, based on who they are. While the others in this grow to the point that they are effective. It says, in other words, nothing in the subsequent engagement, or en-gagement, as there are children. Those who are intrinsic to the children’s wishes, in other words, there was no love-rich is older than someone who is a father or mother, or wife, is to become from the relationship.

” Presumably, there is also something else. A desire within a relationship is always a form of vulnerability. That is a vulnerability to feel safe and secure as the desire along with the other similar. That Is not the case, then we will feel our need of, a small, independent. Or is it the thought of the position that we are in any way something will have to compensate for this, we have a debt to remain outstanding in the other one. Try to be here for you to look at. No, the difference is in the desires – they are, after all, in every relationship, it is important, however, is the manner in which we have to each other’s desires to deal with it. How big is a person’s commitment to you, or if he, regardless of his desires, and in yours, want to come? But also, question by yourself the amount of effort you have, you feel vulnerable in your relationship. Need, to dare and to be in a relationship and show you what you need, or desire, is a road to true intimacy. Dare to walk that road.

relationship therapist Rika Ponnet is the answer to your relatievraag. If you have a question for relatie@nieuwsblad.be

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