“The priest’s pearls”: the new unusual anecdotes heard by a priest

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When the truth comes out of the mouths of the faithful. Gathered every Sunday at Mass, the members of the parish come to listen to the good word of the priest. The opportunity for these men of the Church to meet them and collect some funny stories, remarks and spontaneous anecdotes.

Like Father Bruno Delaroche who had listed his first book, The priest’s pearls: the best-of Catholic jokes in autumn 2019. A book which enjoyed great popularity during the first confinement, brightening the confined days of readers. Enough to give substance to its author who has just published a second volume, to be published on October 13 by Artège editions.

“So we insisted that I offer a new selection of pearls. Here it is,” says Father Bruno Delaroche in the foreword to his book. “To the 555 already offered are added 446, just to reach 1,000 and one. The new fishing draws on almost inexhaustible chapters, already present in the first volume”. To strengthen your zygomatic muscles, Planet has compiled for you an anthology of these true stories and good jokes of sarcastics and parishes.

Chloe comes home from school.

She is quite upset.

– Mom, this morning, I made a big, big prayer to my guardian angel to protect me from bad grades today.

Well, again, he missed!

One day, the priest came across two boys in front of the presbytery who were beating each other furiously.

– Finally ! You know that Jesus says to love your enemies.

One of them then straightens up and says:

– He’s not my enemy at all. He’s only my brother!

Mr. the priest visits a Catholic kindergarten.

– Hello, children! Do you know who I am ?

– Of course, replies little Lucie. You are the Church newscaster.

© Artege Publishing© Artege Publishing

© Artege Publishing© Artege Publishing

Saying: Beware of women in front, horses behind, notaries all around… And priests above all!

At the end of a mass, the parish priest felt it his duty to sharply rebuke one of his listeners, not because he had fallen asleep during the sermon, but because he had done so loudly:

– Just think you were snoring so loud you almost drowned out my voice!

One officer to another:

– Tell me comrade: do you believe in life after death?

– That question ! Of course. Otherwise why bury the soldiers in their uniforms?

© Artege Editions

The priests classify their jokes and other funny stories into two categories: the suitable ones and the good ones. The Jesuits make the same distinction, but more concretely: above and below the cordon of dawn.

Question asked to the “category”:

– What is the meaning of the ceremonies in the church?

Tit for tat response:

– They exist so that we understand that all this lasts long enough…

Why don’t you ever give anything to the collection?, the priest asks old Jo.

– Because I’m deeply in debt.

– But aren’t we all very indebted to God too?

– True, but he doesn’t harass us the most to pay back!

The priest’s pearls: the best-of Catholic jokes (second volume), Father Bruno Delaroche, published on October 13, 2021 by Artège editions.