What do we expect from love as we grow older? Do we think differently when we are 30 or 60 years old? In order to find out if among seniors, the pace and expectations in terms of love life are changing, the expert home services company for over 60 years APEF has unveiled the results of a study carried out by the becoming institute on the love through the ages.

Among the main conclusions of the study, we learn that living together is no longer a norm of couple life when the age advances. Indeed, if the common residence remains the rule among those under 35, this is only the case for half of seniors. While 83% of people under 35 plan to share the same home, only 47% of people over 60 want to live under the same roof as their loved one. Men over 60 are more attached to it than women: 54% for the former, against 29% for women. In the case of home sharing, women are much more demanding on the operating rules: 92% of women are demanding, compared to only 56% of men.

“That only a minority of women aged 60 and over consider living together with their romantic partner is not so surprising. It can be seen as a refusal of the gendered division of tasks where what could have been accepted by the past is no longer understandable at an age when we assume more of ourselves and where we have perhaps also taken more freedom with regard to social conventions. almost all of the women would lay down the operating rules more clearly in the event of a shared home, agreeing in this with the position of those under 35. If older men are more divided on the question, it is because the operating rules were traditionally more advantageous,” says Véronique Cayado, Doctor of Psychology and research engineer for the Oui Care Institute.

Commitment remains a privileged value, regardless of age. The becoming study for APEF on the French and love through the ages reveals that 83% of men over 60 are attached to the idea of ​​eternal love. This remains important for women of the same age group, who however attach much less importance to it. 58% still dream of great love forever. “Love that lasts forever remains a strong value regardless of the age of the respondents, even if the youngest are actually significantly more attached to it (84% vs 75% and 34% declaring themselves even very attached vs 21%)” for the doctor of psychology.

“The positioning that clashes on this point is that of women aged 60 and over who are much more divided on the issue, as they are also on the confidence placed in the partner and the higher level of demands on them. Is Does this mean that women who get older have a tendency to approach love differently? asks Véronique Cayado.

Finally, what importance is given to sex by people over 60? Against all expectations, sexual pleasure seems to be more important for those over 60 (30%) than for those under 35 (21%). Sexuality counts in love for almost a third of seniors, this is especially true for men (37%), but much less for women (16%).

Getting back into a relationship after 60 is also more difficult to assume with your children when you are a woman. Indeed, according to the study, almost half of women in this age group (47%) indicated that they were “not at all” confident in introducing their new boyfriend or girlfriend to their children, compared to 0% of men. “Such a discrepancy is far from being anecdotal. Perhaps the fear of these women is more personally anticipated than it is based on reproachful behaviors of children, that being this result speaks volumes about the pressures to be a good mother, and nothing but a good mother, felt by the women of these generations. To exist for oneself, outside of motherhood, as a being of desires, is not yet so obvious as that,” Veronique Cayado analysis