Bisexuality: “Men are easy to flirt with, women more sincere”

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A story with a woman, then another with a man. On the occasion of International Bisexuality Day, Planet met a young woman who defines herself as bisexual and who agreed to discuss, with modesty and tenderness, her choices, her doubts and her adventures. Lucie*[the first name has been changed, Editor’s note] is approaching her thirties and has just separated from a man after three years of a relationship. Before, she had been in a relationship with others, but also a woman. An attraction for both genres that she understood very early, as a teenager: “I’ve known it since I was 12, because at that time I fell in love with one of my best friends. She wondered a lot about her sexuality and we often discussed it between us“, she recalls to Planet.

At that time, at the very beginning of her adolescence, Lucie was in a relationship with a boy, “as we are when we are still in college” and she decides to keep this attraction for a woman to herself, because “it was not not very well accepted so I was ashamed of it”. Two years later, now aged 14, the young girl experienced her first lesbian relationship, with a friend of her age. “We went back to school together in high school and we didn’t know if we had to hide, whether or not we had to say we were in a relationship, but not with a girl”, remembers Lucie with Planet . Their story remains secret, but it was nevertheless with her that she had her first sexual relationship: “I think that having made love for the first time with a girl it also fulfilled me in my sexuality, because as I was assaulted by men I was more confident with her, in the sincerity of the act”.

Yet 15 years later, Lucie has only had sex with men. Does she have a preference for the male gender? “It’s not that I prefer to be in a relationship with men, it’s that they are easier to seduce,” she says, before adding: “When I’m in the evening, it’s easier for me to tell myself that I’m going for a man, because there’s a greater chance that he’s heterosexual. For a woman, there must already be a reciprocal attraction, that she be single and in addition that she too is attracted to women,” she sighs. The almost 30-year-old admits, however, to feeling safer with women, “even if there are some who are violent, who are toxic of course but, at first glance, for me, a woman will be better able to understand the fears of trauma”. After a long relationship with a man, Lucie now knows that she wants to be with a woman.

Lucie has a preference for women, even if it doesn’t show in her relationships. “If I felt capable of it, I would tend to prefer women,” she told Planet, referring to the “ease” with which she meets men: “With men, it’s going to be very sexual because that they are easy, in reality it seems to me much simpler to seduce a man”. If she ended her heterosexual relationship after three years, it was because she often had regrets, telling herself that she would not have other relationships with a woman.

Now single, Lucie has reunited with men from her past, but wants to meet women in her future. “I go on lesbian and bisexual dating apps, because I open up more easily with women,” she explains, adding, “With men I stay on my laurels, because I feel safe. I am not at all ready to trust a man I meet I don’t know where, in a bar or on the internet”.

If Lucie assumes herself completely with her friends, her family is (almost) not aware of her attraction for women. A secret that she does not want to reveal to them.

Very well surrounded by her friends, Lucie only confided her bisexuality to a handful of those close to her: “I started to reveal my bisexuality to my grandmother, my grandfather and my big sister”. His grandmother by chance, one day when the latter told him that she would have liked to “try with a girl”, but that she had never had the opportunity. One thing is certain, she will never tell her mother: “I think she is tolerant, I don’t think she would see a problem with my sexuality, but I always thought she couldn’t s ‘stop seeing me differently’.

Claire with her sexuality, Lucie knows that she is lucky enough to be able to take charge of herself and follow her desires. Today, if she is looking for a new relationship with a woman, she still continues to see men who she likes and who attract her. The Queen’s Choice.