TESTIMONY. The day I found out that the man who shared my life was married

0
151

Love makes you blind. This adage, seemingly banal, is actually based on real scientific demonstrations. When we fall in love, the hormones that invade our brain upset our discernment and our common sense. If this chemical reaction can hide the little faults of the loved one, it can conceal much more devious… Audrey* learned it the hard way.

The young woman had just turned 18 when she met the man she believed to be the man of her life. Very quickly, the relationship turns into a nightmare and Audrey learns that her dear and tender is married to another. For Planet, she agreed to entrust her story strewn with betrayals and lies.

In 2018, Audrey comes out of a two-year long romantic relationship. She decides to change her life completely, she who is not happy either in her studies or in the city where she lives. “I needed a change. I let go of what I was doing in the hope of moving somewhere else and finding a life that would suit me better. During this time, I was often on social media for personal projects” , she says.

She then discussed with several professionals from the artistic world, including Gabriel*, with whom the current immediately passed. “With him the discussion was very fluid. We didn’t just talk about art, he was also very interested in me, in my interests, in my life”, continues Audrey. Over the messages, Gabriel and she develop feelings for each other. Problem: 600 kilometers separate them.

Pure coincidence or stroke of fate? Shortly after, Audrey receives a call for a job in the town where Gabriel lives. She decides to try her luck, and after a few months, the two lovebirds decide to get together. “He introduced me to his friends, he explained his work to me, showed me around the city, and above all he spoke to me as if I were the best thing that ever happened to him”, recalls- she. “I really felt like I was living a dream… But the relationship quickly turned into a nightmare,” sighs the young woman.

*Names have been changed

The descent into hell begins when Gabriel offers Audrey to move in with him. “I was stunned. I had never lived with someone and I had no idea what to do or what to answer to him. He insisted a lot and I ended up accepting, telling myself that I could go back if that was not going… In reality, no”, confides the young woman.

Her partner had chosen a very expensive apartment and had started not coming to work anymore, so Audrey found herself in a bind. She had to pay the rent and other charges alone, or almost, which quickly created tension in the couple. “He revealed a very dominant side, he wanted to choose everything, even my job. I felt suffocated but I was 18 and I really loved him (…) I was exhausted from the relationship at the end for a year, but I didn’t have anyone else in the south except him,” says Audrey.

One day, Audrey’s old computer fails her while she was working on it. She then sends a message to Gabriel, out with friends, to find out if she could borrow his. “It was a simple formality, I didn’t see why he would refuse, but he told me not to touch his computer. I found it very weird, so I told myself that I had to look… “, she recalls. What was his surprise…

Alone at home, Audrey turns on her companion’s computer and types in her date of birth, which she uses as her password for “just about everything”. Right in the middle of the homepage, a folder named “MARRIAGE”. “I clicked thinking that it might be the wedding of a member of his family or an acquaintance. I started scrolling through the photos (…) until I came across the one where the bride and groom pass the rings… Well, the bride and my boyfriend”, she explains.

Audrey’s blood just turns. When her partner returns, she puts him in front of the facts and asks him for an explanation. Annoyed that she rummaged through her belongings, Gabriel refuses to give her any more details. It took several days for the married man to agree to tell her the truth.

“Their marriage dated from a year before we met and they separated quickly after. He no longer had any feelings for her, no longer saw her and did not wish to reconnect. He told me that he m loved and that he had not spoken to me about this episode of his life because he knew that marriage was an important act for me and that it would probably have made me step back in my relationship with him”, details the young woman. .

After leaving for a few weeks to isolate herself, Audrey decides to forgive. Another year passes, and the arguments continue. Worse still, she evokes the “violent outbursts” of her partner. “However, his marriage history was behind us, at least I believed it”, she underlines…

Audrey and Gabriel needed a change of scenery, to breathe new life into their relationship. Things finally seem to work out between the two lovebirds when they change apartments. “Then he left for a few days with friends of his on vacation. As we had just moved in, I decided to take care of the administrative procedures. He had always wanted to do it and had never left me alone. take care of it, but he wasn’t there and I was almost 20, so it was time to get started,” recalls the young woman.

She began by making a request to the Family Allowance Fund to apply for personalized housing assistance. “Quite quickly, I received an email from CAF informing me of an error in my declarations”, explains Audrey. She then decides to call the administration, and falls from very high when she hears the answer of her interlocutor.

“She explained to me that I could not declare myself in a household with a man who already had a file with them, a file still active in which he was married to another woman. I quickly made the connection”, continues- she.

Under the influence of this man, Audrey cannot find the strength to leave him. When she confronts him a second time, he assures her that everything is over, that the marriage is broken although the divorce has not been recorded. Fortunately for her, the young woman finds support in her family and friends that will allow her to get out of this relationship…

“I learned that he had cheated on me on several occasions (…) I spoke about it to my family and my friends, and they were the ones who pushed me to leave him. After two years with a nervous, dominant and above all liar man, I finally left. A few days later, he appeared on the arm of another girl I had never seen, as if I had never counted”, sighs Audrey.

Today, the young woman is about to marry another man, who has shared her life for three years now. “In a way, it’s a nice revenge on what I experienced before,” she smiles.