“I have two teenagers in the house, and I wonder if I am using them to talk about their ‘first time’. A sex therapist, Alexander Witpas advice.

I’ve got two teenagers in the house, and I wonder if I am using them to talk about their ‘first time’. Not so much an issue of birth control or risk – they’re well aware of, it would take me longer to get the experience. My own ontmaagding hit very, and that has been a damper put on my relationship. I now have a great sex life, but if I have to see what’s out there is around sex in the media, I am afraid that my children will be an even bigger disappointment is in store for us now. I want to be them, so be alert, but not afraid. What should I do?

of course, It is very a pity, that it is your first time to be so clean, but I wouldn’t worry too much about your children. For the majority of young people are falling for the first time, really friendly and helpful. We have a fairly reliable figures about the Flemish people, the first time you have sex, with penetration rates (such as it is) to be experienced. It is shown that about 3 per cent of the as being very negative, being polite, and 12% as negative. 28 per cent had a neutral experience, and the 41 per cent it was very positive. 16 per cent thought it was great. Those figures are consistent but not in the terrifying picture which a lot of people have in their heads. The first time you have sex, it is something for young teens that, after a couple of breezers in the case of diving with someone they don’t know very well, for it both physically and psychologically painful experience ever. It is a popular myth that a lot of parents have sleepless nights. But the truth of it is, therefore, very low.

most young people are reasonably happy with their first time it should come as no surprise. They are beginning their sexual career, are almost never penetratieseks. Usually they start at around the age of thirteen with the girls, and then go over it in a caress over the clothes touching, under the clothes, the manual of sex. in order to arrive at the ‘ontmaagding’. This evolution will take, on average, a three-year period. A lot of young people are not so very young anymore, in their first time. Of the sixth secondary level is one-half of all young people is still a virgin. The other half, who have already had sex, it was around 15,5 years old the first time it’s happened. There is also a not-so-small group that is just a little bit longer to wait: on the 21st of the year should be approximately one-quarter of young people have to make their first start. They dive well, not just any person between the sheets. Most of the people experience it for the first time with their ‘loved’. The majority of young people are taking the time to have sex, you gradually discover it with a person that they would like to see it, which of course makes them about knowing where they are to be expected. I have to say about it, because it is something they have to learn, and with which they have little or no prior experience.

People who come for the first time, a let down, there are likely to be less gradual’re grown, if they have a certain number of steps will be skipped. If they have been victims of gender-based violence. A very young age (14 or younger), it is not at all conducive to a positive experience. That’s not to say that it is, by definition, trauma results. If it is done within a committed relationship, and both partners are about the same age, so it’s usually not too bad. As for the age gap, however large it is, and that the relationship is bad, or there isn’t one, then there is clearly a risk.

now, I know that you are close to your heart, and I don’t see any reason why you wouldn’t share with your children. As for me, you can just put words in question, keeping in mind that a negative experience is certainly not the rule. It is also good to to hear from you, if it’s tegenslaat, which can be a pain. But the fact that it is not a lifelong trauma-there is no need to provide it. And if they are safe to do with a person that they would like to see it, and it is their time to get to know each other, you’ll be fine.

as a sex therapist, Alexander Witpas is the answer to your seksvraag. If you have a question [email protected]